Observations
by Tall on the Inside
Summary: Nepeta Leijon is a nurse at St. Andrew's Hopsital in the suburban city of Skaia. These are her notes on the patients and people who work there. (Hospitalstuck au, feat. all main characters.)
1. c0ntinuity

The patient in room 320 was admitted on a Friday. Her mother and sister were also admitted, though they were dismissed not long after, their wounds healed. The patient in room 320, however, has not been that lucky. Injured in the car accident that killed her father, she was brought in in a comatose state, and has remained that way since admission. All other wounds obtained have healed.

The patient in question is Aradia Megido, 21, student. Her doctor is Dr. Equius Zahhak, no doubt the finest in the establishment. He has taken exceptionally good care of her, making sure that she receives everything she needs. Her treatment has been precise, and Dr. Zahhak has made her a priority case. He fully believes she won't be in this state for very much longer; the other doctors claim that is why he is so constant in his care for her.

The other doctors are wrong.

Doctor Zahhak and I studied together. This fact alone gives me a better understanding of the man, of the way he acts, and what reasons he may have for acting that way, but I've also spent my entire life watching, observing, learning. Human nature fascinates me. Not in the way it interests Ms. Lalonde, the head therapist here, but in the way it interests poets, authors. Here at the hospital there are so many people, all in differing mentalities; weak, strong, confident, nervous. As a nurse here, I've had ample time to analyse them, in my own ways. Unlike Ms. Lalonde, I don't study their minds, but their hearts.

The heart of Doctor Zahhak is especially interesting. Perhaps it's because I consider him a friend, or perhaps it's because this infatuation he has with the patient in Room 320 seems somewhat uncharacteristic, but noting his actions has been somewhat more enjoyable than I'd originally thought.

The patient is beautiful. Her hair is long, full, dark, her skin pale and creamy. She's so blissful and serene, almost as though she's merely sleeping. Doctor Zahhak treats her with the utmost respect, like she's some delicate flower, a china doll he'd do best not to break. Not only does he administer her medication himself every day, without fault, but he also spends his lunchbreak sat in her room, waiting. Waiting for some sign of life, for his sleeping beauty to wake and thank her ever watchful guardian, the prince who has taken only the best care of her during her slumber.

However, if there's one thing to be learnt from working as a nurse in a hospital, it's that life is not a fairytale. Not everyone gets their happy ending. When Miss Megido does wake, it won't be to her true love, it will be to a total stranger, someone she has never met before. She will thank him for his help, then leave, never to see him again. Perhaps her thoughts will drift to the time she spent in a coma, and her heart will skip a beat considering what would have happened had she not woken up. She will smile, grateful to a doctor she no longer remembers the name of, and carry on with her life.

And, in all honesty, that's the best case scenario. Though she's stable, and all her vitals are good, there is always the chance that she'll slip, that she won't wake up. And then Equius will blame himself. He'll be too strong to give up practice, too strong to admit that he feels her death was his fault, but he will feel that way. Who knows how he'll cope with such a heavy burden? Perhaps, though it's awful to think about, the pressure will finally get to him, and he'll spiral downwards into a state of depression, a state which he, once again, won't admit to.

It's horrid to consider such things happening to those you hold close, but there is a second lesson to be learnt from this profession, and that is that, no matter how strong we claim to be, humans are fragile in both mind and body. We were made to be broken.

But that's not to say we can't be fixed.


	2. Motiv8tion

**Author's Note: **I should make it clear now that I know nothing about physiotherapy or pretty much anything I wrote about in this chapter but it's a work of fiction so please don't get mad with me. I wanted to fit events in Homestuck more than things that actually happen in real life so yeah.

* * *

Doctor Makara's favourite patient was in physiotherapy, due to the fact he was paralysed from the waist down. Doctor Makara, who I suspect frequently steals medication from the supply closet, though, as of yet, I haven't been able to prove such, fully believed that the boy would be able to walk with a few words of encouragement. He holds miracles in high esteem, which is understandable, since it's a miracle he's working here.

It was a sight to behold, this nervous, timid boy attempting to pull himself across the bars laid out for him. I often helped him there, and assist him in the getting in and out of his wheelchair. I wished him a full recovery; I hoped that being able to walk again will restore his self confidence. There was no questioning the amount of work that both he and those treating him would need to put in to achieve this recovery, but the boy deserved it. There was something charming about him, something that captured the heart of everyone who worked with him, though he failed to see this himself.

There was a girl a few years older than him, who was also in physiotherapy. Vriska Serket, one of Doctor Kratch's "special cases", who I believe was nineteen at the time, was not only blind in her left eye, but unable to use her left arm. The cause of her wounds was not one I have ever been able to discover, but their severity was never questioned. I struggle to recall a time she's been spotted without a bandage wrapped tightly around the wounded eye in question; many of us assume it to be her personal preference, that the wound is of a nature so grotesque it has scarred her horrendously.

From the first session the two were in together, Vriska took to taunting the boy. Snide remarks and hurtful comments had him upset on more than one occasion, but Kratch refused to have her moved to a different schedule. "It is good for Miss Serket to interact with other patients," he would state, "even if these interactions are not pleasant."

There is no arguing with Doctor S. Kratch. He's the reason St. Andrew's is the fine establishment it is. He transferred from a rather big city to Skaia, in order to improve the facilities in our hospital. No matter what anyone else wanted, the two remained in therapy together, and Vriska continued to tease the poor lad. She'd snap at him, she'd belittle any progress he thought he'd made. Her most common line of conversation would be to compare him to Peter Pan. She'd often snarl, "Spread your wings, you lazy fuck, and fly!" Of course, every time she resorted to that she was removed from the session. Despite the language being inappropriate, it was also deemed hostile. We'd all been warned about Miss Serket, and we'd all read her profile; none of us wanted the situation to turn hostile.

What Miss Serket didn't realise was that her taunts were having the opposite effect. They didn't make the boy want to give up; they made him want to leave. Vriska never considered that one day she would show up for their session and be the only one there, but that was exactly what happened. At the end of one particular hurtful string of comments, the boy, Tavros Nitram by name, asked me if Doctor Zahhak could start treating him as well. He asked to double his sessions. He would spend hours on end in physio, and, one day, it paid off.

He took a step. A shaky, small step.

After that, Doctor Zahhak added some form of metal framing to his legs, in order to help him walk, and he was dismissed. He come in every Thursday for sessions, his steps getting bigger and stronger every time.

That was when Miss Serket stopped making progress. She seemed lifeless, unmotivated. Without Tavros to tease, she became lackluster, a shell. It was almost like she didn't want to recover anymore.

Despite the fact she tormented him, Mr Nitram asked how she was every session he's in. Until a few weeks ago, the nurses in attendance told him lies. When I was asked, however, I couldn't do it. I told him that hospital confidentiality prevented me from answering him, and that must have been what tipped him off to something being wrong, because he comes in now, every Tuesday at half six, which was when his old sessions were.

Apparently, he's returning the favour. When Vriska tries to use her hand, he makes comments similar to hers, though more pleasant. It appears to be working. Miss Serket is, at least, attempting to regain use of her arm.

Doctor Zahhak has asked Doctor Kratch if he would consider allowing him to operate, perhaps add a metal mainframe, or even reconstruct the arm mechanically. Kratch has yet to give him a straight-forward answer. Regardless, Vriska is doing her best in physio, and she seems happiest when Tavros is there. Mr Nitram has shown up to every Tuesday session now, without fail, and offers her words of encouragement.

It appears that now Peter can fly, he's determined Tinker Bell will join him.


	3. captiivatiion

**Author's Note:**  
The next few chapter's are a tad more shippy than I'd intended didn't come out as well as I'd hoped, but I hope you enjoy them regardless.  
Chapter four should be out sometime soon, just working on the ending.

* * *

A few years, before I started working here, in fact, before I'd even left school, Sollux Captor's older brother was admitted to St. Andrew's after a series of blows to the head had left him with severe brain damage. According to the stories, he was in intensive care for an awfully long time, and for the entirety of the time Sollux seemed somewhat intent on staying with him. Eventually his presence became normal, not worth notice. The doctors and nurses in attendance started to get to know him, and he became just another feature of the hospital, until eventually Dr Kratch told him that if he was going to spend so much time here, he might as well make himself useful, and gave him a job. Originally it was just carrying out any old thing that needed doing; odd jobs that one practitioner might've needed a bit of help with when help was short. However, when one of the positions at the front desk opened up, it was deemed something Sollux was more than capable of doing.

Mr Captor has remarkable skills in computing and technology, but little aspiration. He's a grouchy, unpleasant boy, and I'm not entirely sure why he is in his position, and why he's been in it for so long. Though I hate to assume the worst in people, I presume it's because he works at minimum wage and doesn't particularly care if he works overtime; it's almost as if he has nowhere else to go. He's already dropped out of university twice, and, though he's been "working" here for years (the stories are always sketchy about his age, with some doctors claiming he was thirteen and others stating fifteen) he shows no interest in leaving and pursuing a more exciting career path. Ms Lalonde has expressed a desire to have him in for one of her sessions, but he always turns her down.

All conversations I have with Mr Captor are brief, often with him being surly or rude. I'm sure he doesn't mean to come across in that manner, but I've never been able to uncover his lighter, happier side. But this doesn't mean it doesn't exist. On the contrary, just because I can't bring a smile to his face doesn't mean no one can.

While no one can quite work out why he doesn't leave this job, I have a theory; a theory which presents itself in curly blonde hair, bright eyes, shapely curves and an ever-present smile.

Dr. Feferi Peixes is specially-trained to work with children. She oversees the both the wards for children and young people here at St. Andrew's. Though I've never spoken to her personally, she always seems cheerful, bubbly. I've never heard an unpleasant word about her from any of the staff here; Sollux Captor included.

There's a playful gleam to Mr Captor's bi-coloured eyes when she takes the time to talk to him, even if it's something as simple as Dr. Peixes retrieving her schedule from the front desk, or asking him if he wants a coffee while she's on her break. At the ball we threw last Christmas he stole her away for a dance or two, and her smile was the fullest it had been all night. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who noticed the two conveniently ended up under the mistletoe when their dance was done.

Usually, a budding romance between co-workers is nothing to take note of, and it certainly wouldn't be if this wasn't the second time Dr. Peixes had found herself in one.

There's a nurse in the A&E here, by the name of Eridan Ampora, who I'm not very fond of. He often works alongside Dr. Maryam in surgery; Accident and Emergency isn't really a ward of the hospital that needs any explanation, the name says it all. This nurse, however unpleasant I may find him, happens to be engaged to Dr. Peixes. Whether this relationships predates their employ here, I'm not entirely sure. What I've been able to pick up from the hospital gossip, however, is simple; A&E can be a very demanding job. It can require a lot of night-shifts and overtime, and those who work it don't always get to choose their hours.

None of the gossipers ever want to outright accuse anything, but they have no shame in implying it. "Imagine being young, beautiful, and engaged," they say. "Imagine going home every night to an empty apartment, a message on the answerphone from your partner, stating that they'll be working late again tonight. Well, you're bound to get lonely every now and again. And then now and again turns into once a week, and once a week turns into every day."

Of course, this is all speculation. There's no proof to any of this; it's all idle gossip. You can't claim that the way Mr Captor looks at Dr. Peixes is shows anything. You can't call the all-too-frequent bumps and brushes between the pair shows anything. You can't assume that there is any truth in their feelings for each other in the way Dr. Peixes comes alive around Captor, with a smile bright than that she wears around her own fiance.

Except I've seen the emotion in Sollux Captor's gaze a thousand times; the look of longing that comes with knowing you love something that is barely yours. There's no lying about the fact that when Feferi links her hand through Eridan's, the smile she wears is forced, and her posture just screams guilt.

Regardless of what I or any of the other staff may believe, they are all adults, and are in charge of their own relationships. They can do what they want with their lives, whether we approve of it or not. I just hope that the matter is resolved in as painless a manner as possible, though I doubt that will be achieved.

There are many things we treat at this hospital, but no medicine can cure a broken heart.


	4. UNR3QU1T3D

**Author's Note: **Everything about this chapter was difficult, from the ending to the actual content to the title. It could have gone better than it did, but this is how it is and I don't hate it.

And, if I don't make it clear, though I'm fairly certain I do, Terezi and Karkat are meant to be the same age.

* * *

There were two patients here, a long time ago, whose story is one I often consider romanticising, tweaking slightly, and publishing. They are the reason I chose to start noting down all these little tidbits in the first place. Even now, as I write this, I'm smiling slightly.

Retinitis pigmentosa is an inherited condition which, by essence, is irregular. No case appears to work in the same way, and the inheritance pattern is irregular. There is no cure. Beginning with "night-blindness" between the ages of ten and twelve, RP causes a progressive loss of vision, and often legal blindness is reached by young adulthood. Total blindness often follows.

Leukaemia is a cancer of the blood or bone marrow, and affects the white blood cells in particular. Despite being the most common form of childhood cancer, it is more common in adults, particularly males. Treatments include radiotherapy, chemotherapy, steroids and intensive treatment, such as bone marrow transplants.

Terezi Pyrope was diagnosed with RP at the age of thirteen, and paid monthly visits to Dr. Kratch to monitor it. Ultimately, the Doc's real purpose there was to prepare her for her eventual loss of vision.

Karkat Vantas was diagnosed with leukaemia at the age of nineteen, and began chemotherapy a few months later, under Dr. Makara's supervision. It was suspected that, were he to undergo treatment for a year or two, the cancer would all but clear itself up.

Both patients visited the hospital on a regular basis. They went to different wards for different treatments and saw different doctors. The two had literally no reason to cross paths, until the day Karkat got into an argument with Mr Captor, at the front desk. It was an incredibly long and heated argument which Dr. Maryam attempted to control and ultimately finish, but failed to. She asked me to come up to the desk and take Sollux's job while he was "busy", and I was more than happy to oblige. All the while I was filling out forms and answering phones, the yelling match went on, with Dr. Maryam threatening to summon Dr. Kratch and get Sollux fired and-

Maryam couldn't end their fight. In fact, it didn't end until a redheaded girl with oddly-shaped glasses and a manic grin interrupted, somehow managing to shut Karkat up. We were all mildly surprised, and I had been about to tell her I was fulfilling Sollux's duty for the day when a glance from Dr. Maryam shut me up. She was clearly more than pleased with the outcome, despite not being the reason it was achieved. She composed herself, straightening her jacket and playing with her hair, before returning to her schedule.

After signing in with Sollux, or whatever it was Miss Pyrope had come to the desk to do, she flirted somewhat outrageously with the patient behind her, Mr Vantas, who asked her to coffee, if she didn't mind waiting until his session was done. She told him she would.

I, of course, have no idea what actually transpired over that coffee, but if I were to make a story of the events which transpired, which I suppose I am doing, I imagine the two would have began by discussing why they had been in the hospital. With no shame, Terezi would have explained RP to Karkat, filling him in on seven years of failing eyesight, while he would mumble about his cancer, and the therapy he was undertaking. The subject would change, Terezi would tell him about her aspirations to become a lawyer, and Karkat would explain how much he hates business school and his insufferable older brother. He would tell her that, when he was younger, all he wanted to be was an actor in one of those rom-coms that girls adore. She would tease him for his awful taste in films. They would discover that the both of them were single. That coffee would lead to another coffee, and another, and then a date, and then a second, a third, a first, nervous, timid kiss, a second, more confident, a third, a fourth, an infinite amount of loving touches between a couple who would have never met if Dr. Makara hadn't been absent on that Wednesday, causing the fight between Karkat and Mr Captor.

Terezi's eyesight got worse as Karkat's hair began to thin. Just the loss of a few strands made him too nervous to carry out the rest of the chemotherapy. I remember attempting to persuade him not to give up. Dr. Makara called him into his office to discuss it. Ms Pyrope and myself were also present. We told him that another six months top, and his cancer would be all but gone. He still seemed somewhat apprehensive. He asked about other treatments, but we assured him this was by far the best. He took a few leaflets and said he'd sleep on it.

After they left, I overheard Ms Pyrope tell him that she didn't care if he lost all his hair; she couldn't see it anyway.

Karkat's chemotherapy was done within a year, and it was decided his cancer had receded to the point he could consider himself cured (but Dr. Makara was insistent he check back with him at least once a month). If this were my novel, I would write about how well everything was going for the pair as a couple. They'd move in together, maybe buy a dog. Terezi's final exams were coming up, and I have it on good authority that Karkat used his business degree to buy a rundown video store and restore it to working standard.

Terezi did go on to become a lawyer. The two were going to move to a larger city, but those business skills of Karkat's picked up again, and he sold his first business to go on and start a law firm. I ask Sollux how the couple are doing every now and again, since he seems to know them both from school, and he often responds with boring one word responses. Dr. Peixes was there one time I inquired and she nudged him, not impressed at his disinterest. She smiled at me, and informed me that it looked like the two weren't far from marriage.

I don't see either of them anymore. After all, what use is a nurse to two healthy people? However, I wish that this wasn't the case. I wish I'd done something differently, said something less formally, acted a tad more casually. Long nights have had me up wondering what I would have needed to do to be the one asked out for coffee. But above all, I regret not remaining quiet.

I remember everything about the day we convinced Mr Vantas to remain in therapy. I remember how on edge he seemed, how his eyes would dart towards Terezi every now and again, seeking reassurance from her, and how, every time, almost as though she could feel his gaze on her, she would squeeze his hand reassuringly. I remember putting on a smile and listing the procedures and acting as professional as I always had. I remember feeling as though my heart had been ripped out by my want to be the one he looked for for reassurance, I wanted to be the one holding his hand, holding his heart.

When they left, I wanted to say that it didn't matter if he lost all his hair; he'd still be beautiful. But I didn't. I wasn't the one he fell for. All I am is a face that he'll soon forget, no matter how badly I want him to remember. After all, if this was my novel, I'd be a side-character, someone who get's a brief cameo, maybe a description and a few lines. My name probably wouldn't even be mentioned.

I might not be the main character, but this is my life, and I deserve a chance at a happy ending.

* * *

**Reference List:**

1) bbc dot co dot uk /health/physical_health/conditions/in_depth/cancer /leukaemia1 dot shtml -

2) blind dot net /g2000000 dot htm

3) bupa dot co dot uk /individuals/health-information/directory/l/leukae mia-and-lymphoma?tab=FAQs


	5. Conversion

**A/N:** Cover art by Lily. Find the information on my profile. Also, the previous chapter, "UNR3QU1T3D", now has a follow-on fic from Karkat's point of view. It can be found here: /s/9259926/1/Freefall or on my profile under "Freefall" if you'd rather. I'd appreciate it if you all checked it out.

Please enjoy the longest chapter of Observations so far, featuring this fics first few lines of dialogue.

* * *

Surgery is not considered a glamorous profession. When browsing the latest fashion magazines, one rarely comes across photos of stunning young women in blandly coloured slacks, their painted, dainty lips hidden by a mask, their hands hidden by gloves and their outfit accessorised with trace amounts of blood. Their hair, elegant and extravagantly styled, is not forced into a net, and their eyes aren't decorated with the evidence that they've worked through the night, saving lives. And yet, if you were to ask anyone who worked or was in residence at St. Andrew's Hospital who the most glamorous of those who work or are in attendance at said hospital was, they will all respond, without a doubt, with the name Kanaya Maryam. Dr. Kanaya Maryam, who just so happens to be, as a matter of fact, head surgeon.

She is a tall, handsome woman, with dark hair and green eyes. Her cheekbones are high and her work ethic admirable. Upon first glance, it's not uncustomary to mistake her for the wealthy relative of a patient, before realising she wears that white coat because it's hospital regulation, and not a fashion choice. Despite this, she makes even medical scrubs look desirable, and is always remarkably well kept. There have been occasions where her night-shifts have ended the same time my normal work hours have began, and even then, she doesn't look strained. She does have a slight tendency to gossip and meddle, but, excluding that, I have always striven to be somewhat more like Doctor Maryam. My own hair is a mess, and no matter how much coffee I consume, it's thoroughly evident I've been working late. I also look positively awful in scrubs, but that's beside the point.

Doctor Maryam is not only glamorous, she's also likeable. She can quickly gain control of situations and put an end to arguments. The work she's done for our A&E Department is revolutionary, and I'm certain Doctor Kratch would give her Doctor Zahhak's position in a heartbeat, should she ask for it; I have it in good confidence that Dr. Maryam intends to perform complex transplant surgeries when she's not in A&E. All the staff at St. Andrew's admire her, myself included. She's an asset to the hospital. In fact, I'm certain there's only one member of staff she's ever fallen out with, which is odd, considering that the two women were so alike. Though, looking back on it, that is perhaps what sparked it.

Dr. Lalonde transferred to St. Andrew's on the first of January, after her mother died on the operating table of the hospital she'd worked at previously. Apparently the woman was a recovering alcoholic and her surgery had gone completely wrong, but Rose doesn't like to talk about it, so I have never pressed her for information. The majority of our conversations are about cats (she has an adorable black one named Jaspers; I take care of him when she's away). Dr. Lalonde knew Dr. Kratch from her work at that particular hospital; she was a prodigy, one of the youngest in the country to join a career in therapy and psychoanalysis or whatever it is she actually does. Once again, my knowledge fails me. Rose is another well-spoken, polite woman, just as Dr. Maryam is. She's also eerily beautiful, with misty purple eyes and hair of such a violent blonde it's almost white. Both of these are traits of some form of albinism in the genes. Rose is smart, witty and sarcastic. She took an almost immediate dislike to Eridan Ampora, choosing instead to spend the majority of her breaks with Jade Harley, one of the doctors on the children's ward (though that's a story for another time).

She'd been at the hospital for about a fortnight before Dr. Harley decided to introduce her to Dr. Maryam. We all assumed the two would get on well, but we were quickly proven wrong. The two women immediately began to sass each other, Kanaya perhaps feeling threatened that her position as the witty, well-read intellectual doctor was being challenged by Rose, and Rose clearly just enjoying the fact that she had found a sparring partner capable of returning her quips. In the months that followed, and epic battle rose between the two of them. It was a battle of sarcasm and banter that has since been titled "the Saga of Flighty Broads and their Snarky Horseshit", though I forget who first called it that.

And then, suddenly, it was over. It was as though the two had ran out of insults, and though their conversations were still full of banter, they spoke in pleasant tones, with smiles on their faces. When on her lunch-break, it became evident that Kanaya would go visit Rose in her office. The two would sit at a table together, Rose with a book in one hand and a coffee in the other, Kanaya babbling away about the latest gossip. Occasionally Rose would join in.

However, as surprising as their friendship was, nothing could beat the surprise that we all received the following October.

Our yearly fundraisers are always the same. On April 13th, there is something targeted towards children. On June 12th, there is something targeted towards the entire family, with venues rented out. There are usually a number of competitions. Food is cooked by the hospital staff. I myself usually paint faces. Sometimes I'm able to persuade my sister to bring a few animals from the zoo she works at along. Our October fundraiser, however, is strictly for adults. Dr. Kratch invites our benefactors, as he does to the yearly Christmas party, but unlike the Christmas party, the event is left open to the public. We rent a room with a bar and a dance floor. That's pretty much all there is to it.

At that particular fundraiser, Dr. Lalonde had a little too much to drink. I remember Eridan muttering something to Feferi about how it was disgraceful, and her elbowing him in the stomach. Regardless, Dr. Maryam stood up to the responsibility of taking Rose home.

"I'll take her home, Kanaya!" Jade had stated. "I should probably be heading back now, the dog'll be getting lonely. Besides, she lives nearer to me anyway."

"No, no. That won't be necessary. I'm finished here anyway." Kanaya shook her head in protest. "You've also had more to drink than I have."

Jade has shrugged and taken another sip from her drink. She might have told Kanaya to suit herself, but my recollection of the night is a tad hazy. Although Equius had explicitly told me how much alcohol I was allowed to consume, I may have had one sip too many, though I was nowhere near the level of intoxication Rose had reached.

Jade had chuckled to herself as Rose had staggered out, leaning on Kanaya's arm and speaking in incoherent babble. (Jade swears that Rose's words were "Oh Kapaya you're so string and nice, helpin' me,", but how one manages to change "Kanaya" to "Kapaya" escapes me, even if they are drunk.) What happened after the two of them had left would have remained a mystery, had Kanaya not quickly returned to the room, and called, "I need a doctor!"

Of course, Jade and I hastened to the door. Dr. Lalonde was lying at the bottom of a flight of stairs, laughing. I helped her up and cleaned her head, before telling Kanaya we should either take her home, or to the hospital for a better clean up, and perhaps check her for concussion. Dr. Maryam said she had thought the exact same thing. One of Rose's shoes had been discarded halfway down the stairs, and as Jade bent down to pick it up, she asked a question that hadn't crossed my mind. "If you were supporting her, how did she fall?"

From the blush that instantly took Kanaya's face and the way she glance downwards, it was obvious. "She might've kissed me, a tad."

I remember smiling as I helped Rose up. She patted my nose slightly, still chuckling. Jade seemed unable to decide whether the information she was currently processing was obvious, or completely unexpected. In the end, she just slapped Kanaya on the back, and said something I didn't catch. However, it wasn't intended for me, so there is no fault there.

Other than a few cuts and bruises, and a colossal hangover, Dr. Lalonde was fine. That day, fortunately, didn't mark the dawn of an increased dependence on alcohol, but instead the start of her relationship with Dr. Maryam. Whilst on break, the two still sit at their table, Rose with a book in one hand, Kanaya across from her, gossiping, holding Rose's free hand in her own. The two look at each other with such wonder, their words soft and pleasant, all venom from their first encounter gone. It's been more than a year since Dr. Lalonde transferred here, and it is somewhat remarkable to see how different their relationship is now.

I suppose the moral of the story is something like, "big things come from small beginnings,", or, "love can be found in even the most unexpected of places," but that's not what I took away from the experience. The experience gave me even more reason to admire Kanaya Maryam, who somehow managed to completely turn her situation with Rose.

I think what the moral of their story truly is that no matter how vast the bleak nothing of space is, there is no inch of it that cannot be penetrated by light.

Note: That was really poetic! Maybe I should take to writing poems instead of stories about my co-workers...

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry it's so shippy. The last three chapters have been. Rest assured, the chapters I have planned aren't. But, until then, I need some help;

While Gamzee is the only troll left to have his story told (excluding Nepeta), I'm having trouble casting the kids. I'd appreciate it if you'd help me out, maybe by leaving some ideas in a review, or sending me a helpful message.

At the moment, I'm playing around with a med school!Roxy, and a techinition!Dirk. Rose's story has already been covered. Jade's will either be in the next chapter or the chapter following that, depending on whether or not I can work out a decent length chapter for Gamzee's story, or if I want to finish on it. Jake will feature in one of the previously mentioned stories, though I'm not saying which one, because I've already spoiled more of the plot than I've intended.

Regardless, Jane, John and Dave still require casting. They can be anything, from a patient to a practitioner. They can feature in each other's chapters, or in the chapters of the kids I've already cast. Don't be afraid to voice your idea; it can be shippy, it can be angsty, it can be sad, I don't really care. This is a story about life, and life features all those things.

Thank you for reading. I'm sorry this chapter isn't up to my usual standards.

**Beta'd by Lily. **


	6. InTrIgUe

**Author's Note: **Have you ever woken up at half four and suddenly realised you need to update four fanfics because that is what just happened.  
Also, since I've never really explained this, I imagine every individual chapter of this as a story Nepeta has posted on her blog. She updates it every now and again. I'm trying to merge "her" writing style with glimpses of her personality (I say "her" writing style, because I honestly write this story in a different way. That's why it's so hard, but exciting, to write.). This is a lot more apparent in this chapter, due to the fact I use it to convey the atmosphere of the events of this story. I want to apologise, but at the same time, I fully intended that the further I got into this story, the more the author would feel like Nepeta, as opposed to the passive voice in the first chapter. I guess I'm just somewhat mad that the change wasn't gradual, like I planned, but just BAM! in your face.

But that's enough from me. I'll see you all at the end of this chapter.

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Alright, so I wasn't going to update until next week, and I had everything planned out, but I have to post this now, while it's fresh in my mind! That, and by this time tomorrow Doc Kratch'll probably have banned us all from speaking about it. I'm going to get fired for this, I just know it. But I can't not write this! This is the most exciting thing I'm ever going to post! I can't deny any of you that!

Okay, wow... I'm trying to calm down, I really am, but it's hard. Really hard. I'm taking deep breaths and trying to get back into the right frame of mind to write but it's ridiculously early in the morning and I'm writing this on my phone from work because I am so excited! Nothing like this has ever happened before! St. Andrew's has just had it's first scandal! Scratch that, this is the first scandal Skaia has seen in ages! And I was here to see it all! I was a part of it! Isn't that incredible?

I better slow down. I'm getting ahead of myself.

Right, so I'm sure I've mentioned Doctor Makara before on this blog. Since I've written about two of his former patients, it's impossible for his name not to have cropped up, but my memory is failing me right now, and I can't quite recall whether or not I did write about him. I also can't be bothered to go through my posts and see if I have written about him.

Doctor Makara is a tall, slim man, who is mainly limbs. He believes more in miracles than medicine, and I have never understood why he works here. His hair is wild and unkempt, and he is totally incompetent. I dislike him more than Ampora, and, believe me, that is hard. For the longest time, I've suspected him of stealing from supply closets, but that rumour never really went round. Most of the staff, however, believe that he lost a patient and somehow managed to cover it up. The rumourmill is always churning that one out. Supposedly he attempted an operation while high, though how someone who was high managed to hide the fact they were high and the fact they lost a patient, I'll never know.

Until recently, Doctor Makara didn't have an assigned nurse, so, despite the fact that I'm assigned to Doctor Zahhak, and the fact that, until recently, I was the main nurse in attendance in the Children's Ward, he would always ask for my assistance. I complained to Doctor Kratch frequently about the fact I was over-worked, which is perhaps what caused him to finally hire John Egbert and Jane Crocker.

Ms Crocker is one of the nicest women I have ever met. She's not tall, and she's not slim, but she isn't unattractive. With deep blue eyes and a smile that could soften metal, butter wouldn't melt in her hands. I had been certain when she strolled through the doors on her first day she was going to work with the children, and was quite surprised when she told me that, actually, she was there for Doctor Makara.

Jane and I had break around the same time, and, eventually she started hanging around with an ambulance driver, who she befriended quickly, but originally she did spend her break with me. She asked a lot of questions, especially about Doctor Makara, and, being the good person I am, I filled her in on everything. I told her about his work with Tavros Nitram, a boy who had been told he would never walk again, and yet (with Doctor Zahhak's assistance, of course), was now up on his own two legs again. I told her how well he had handled Karkat Vantas' panic halfway through his cancer treatment. I also told her Doctor Makara supposedly lost a patient. How could I not? I still remember the way her eyes widened at the rumour. I'd thought she would have been worried, fearful about the man she was going to be working with, but she'd just grinned, something akin to passion in her eyes, like she was fueled by mindless speculation.

"Anything else I should know?" she asked, leaning forwards.

I had shrugged, and said something along the lines of, "Well, I hate to say things like this, especially without proof, but I think he steals from the supply cupboard."

Of course, I regretted filling her head with such things about her new co-worker, but what else could I do? She asked.

"Why do you think that?" was her reply.

I couldn't really explain why I harboured that opinion. Was it perhaps because when he asked me to grab something for him, the shelves seemed more bare, despite inventory showing that nothing was unaccounted for? Maybe it was the gleam in his eyes whenever someone filled his cupboard, or maybe I'd seen him give a patient a tad too much of a drug that he shouldn't have had that much access to. I tried to explain this to Jane, but felt I was grasping at straws, and she didn't really get it.

Turns out, she got it far more than I thought.

I came in to work at ten o'clock in the morning yesterday. My scrubs were on, my hair was a mess, and Dr Harley asked me twice if I needed to talk, because she thought I'd gotten out of a bad relationship or something. Apparently it looked like I'd been crying, or was just about to burst into tears. She suggested I take some time off, and I brushed the suggestion aside. Nothing had seemed different. None of us had any idea what was going to go down, but, at ten in the evening, when I was finishing my shift, it happened. The place was suddenly overrun by police officers.

I'm trying to write down the conversations but they're fading from my mind, so I might have to paraphrase. Hopefully I'll get the gist of it down.

Captor at the front desk was horrified for a second, before rolling his eyes and calling, "If you're here to see a doctor, you better have an appointment."

Eridan Ampora, who had just come in and had been complaining to Captor practically pissed himself; first with fear when the police burst in, then with laughter at Captor's comment. We were the only staff at the entrance, so I calmed a few visitors who were leaving down before hurrying after the police to find out what their sudden intrusion was for. I ended up in the corridor outside Doctor Makara's office, where Doctor Maryam was on the phone to Ms. Lalonde and yelling, "I'm going to be even later home than I thought! No, it's not a patient, it's Makara. You won't believe it... You know that new woman? Crocker, is it? Yep, that's the one! Well-"

Doctor Harley turned up about then, her face covered in delight but also horror. She clamped a hand over her mouth, and mumbled, "Oh God..." before turning to me and saying, "I didn't think Feferi actually meant it... I can't believe this is happening..." to which, of course, I replied, "What is happening?! What did Feferi do?!"

"She... She told me that... but I can't believe it..."

What she couldn't believe became apparent when the police shifted slightly, and we could get closer. And then it was my turn to cover my mouth with shock, because there, in his office, lay Doctor Makara, with Ms. Crocker kneeling on him to keep him pressed against the floor, and his hands handcuffed.

This is where the scandal begins.

I'm squealing. Oh God. I can't believe this actually happened. I'm still in shock.

Jane Crocker was working undercover. She's a detective. She was hired to work with the police on a case regarding a notorious gang who were somehow accessing all sorts of drugs. Suspicion turned to someone stealing it from St. Andrew's and supplying those drugs to this gang.

Doctor Makara was stealing supplies and selling them to a gang. An actual gang. And he was actually doing it.

We were all questioned. I think it was to check no one else was working with Makara but I'm not entirely sure. It was an experience I'll never forget. None of it even felt real. God. It was so strange, so surreal. I felt like I was sleepwalking.

Doctor Harley is saying she needs a drink to take the edge off. I'm gonna drive her downtown, we're going to pop in somewhere for something quick. I'm shaking. This is real. This is happening. The odd policeman is still patrolling to corridors. I don't believe this. I don't.

I can't work out how to end this update. Usually it's some meaningful statement. Feferi and Eridan are fighting. I don't know why. Captor is watching them awkwardly. Jade wants to leave now. I haven't seen Equius... He must know this is happening? He can't not know. The entire hospital must know. Kratch is gonna have a hard time talking his way out of this.

Right, Jade really wants to go, so I've told her I'm writing. Bad idea. She wants to read it now. Damn.

She's suggested I leave you with the reaction she got from one of our paramedics when she text him and told him what had happened: hahah what. the clown guys dealing drugs and going to jail for it? incredible. what a time to be alive. i cant fucking believe i missed this. never miss work harley. if you take a day off because youre sick you will miss watching some asshole get floored and sent to jail and you will regret it.

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**A/N: **I apologise for the shift in writing, and how much more Nepeta interacts with the reader in this chapter, but, from it's conception, this was the way this chapter was going to go. I couldn't not write it like this. Besides, I did intend for Nepeta to interact with the audience eventually. I'm just mad that I didn't work it in gradually.

Lily's pesterchum is playing up, plus she's going on holiday, so this chapter is unbeta'd.

Finally, everyone is now cast. The next few chapters will be written more like the previous chapter, and less like this one, so this chapter might be a sort of standalone in it's style. All the characters have been cast, thank you so much for all your help! I've planned out stories for all of them, and some are a lot happier than others (I am not looking forward to writing Roxy's chapter. Spoiler: it's going to be ridiculously upsetting to write, but once you get an idea and you decide to stick with it, it's hard to move away). John's chapter is next. I threw him in here quickly because I wanted this story to seem more real? Like, the idea is, to Nepeta John's character arc has come to an end, but to the reader, it hasn't even began, because she hasn't chosen to share it with them yet.

Sorry this chapter is short, but I can't write Gamzee and I'm not great at Jane, so I just wanted to get it over with.

Lily and Caitlin both suggested putting Gamzee and Jane in the same chapter and this happened. I'm sorry. It's not realistic at all. Plus I know nothing about hospitals. apocalypsebutterfly suggested Jane as a nurse.

The more I think about this chapter, the more worried I get? But I like it. I like that there is finally a little bit of something completely unexpected, something dramatic, something that will rock the foundations of the hospital and the lives of people there, because that's what happens. You get so used to everything, lulled into this sense of security, certain that this is the way things are and this is how they've always been and this is how they'll stay, that when something changes, well, everything else does too.

Thank you for reading. I'm going to try and get the remaining chapters done as soon as I can. We've got about five, I think.


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